I Love You – Three small words that mean so much. Are there any other three words in the English language that, when said together, have the power to impact lives the way I Love You does? They have the power to make a recipient go from angry to happy in about 3 seconds. But I often wonder if people say I Love You too easily. That’s not right. Not too easily, but almost in the manner of using a band-aid. I’ve hurt you terribly so now I’m going to tell you that I Love You and that’s going to make everything all right. But does telling someone I Love You ever make everything all right? Maybe for a day…or a couple of days, but those words never really resolve anything. And I’m not just talking man/woman relationships, but mother/daughter, sister/brother, friend/friend.
In writing, editors beat into the heads of authors that we are ALWAYS to show and never tell. We show what our characters are doing, don’t tell what they are doing. Here’s a quick example of showing anger verses telling:
EX: 1 Showing – Cassie walked to the stove, her fists clenched so tightly her skin had blanched white. It was taking everything in her to keep from slamming her fists down on the counter. The only thing that stopped her was knowing that he’d hear, he’d know he’d gotten to her…had hurt her. She wouldn’t give him that satisfaction.
EX: 2 Telling – Cassie was angrier than she’d been in a long time.
Just like in the books I read and the books I write, show me, don’t tell me! We all deserve to be shown love. Why have we been brainwashed into thinking I Love You is the fixer upper for everything? Why do we accept I Love You from a person who hasn’t shown us matching behavior, and believe them?! Personally, I’d prefer not to hear those words and know somebody loves me through their actions. It’s so easy to say three words but so much harder to show love. Don’t get me wrong. I love to be told I Love You, but only when I already know a person loves me because they’ve shown me.
What say you?
- Trina Hayes: Surrounded by Addiction: An Opportunity to Open Your Heart to Unconditional Love (huffingtonpost.com)
- The Staggering Fact of His Love (challies.com)
- Taylor Swift Talks Song Writing to Glamour (sugarslam.com)
- Love Quotes for Wedding Programs (brighthub.com)